April 10, 1992. It was a very tragic car wreck, which involved my entire family. Mom shouldn’t have made it and our youngest sister and her friend were hurt badly, leaving our middle sister at the age of 16 to hold the pieces together. God took our precious Daddy home.
Every year it feels the same, as if it has been forever and like it was yesterday all at the same time. We miss him and talk about him every day. Mom loved and missed him so much. This year stings deeper for us and sweeter for them, as they get to be back together. They left a legacy we pray we will continue to carry well.
If asked what you loved most about Matt Farmer, it was that he was your friend in the truest sense of the word. His love for you overflowed from his love for God. He was the one waiting at the back door on Sundays to say hi. He was the one at the hospital when you were sick, probably even before you arrived. He was the one taking a homeless person for food and lodging, He opened up early and closed down late. He was a servant to all, because he knew He was ultimately serving His Savior.
He was not perfect, but he showed us what a godly husband and father should strive to be. He pointed us to Christ and led my mother and our family well. His humor created a laughter that filled our home and with just a point, his long fingers would redirect our behavior in a flash, we KNEW when he meant business. He was passionate and full of grace.
I will never understand on earth why God took him home at age 44. I will never understand why Mom wasn’t healed from covid this year, as we watched God heal her from the brink of death in 1992.
But this I know.
Our lack of understanding, or even agreeing, doesn’t change who God is and it doesn’t determine whether He is trustworthy or not. He calls us to TRUST, not to understand. He is God. I am not.
“His thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are His ways my ways.” (Isaiah 55:8 NIV) So that’s where we have to leave it. Some days we don’t feel ok with that. I get it and that’s ok, but He is still on His throne.
One day, we may be given the whole picture, but I often wonder if it will even matter at that point. I don’t know. As much as our heart aches, especially this year, we know we serve a good God that sees us, loves us and will never leave us. Mom and Dad are both perfectly healed and in the presence of our Lord and Savior, along with so many of our loved ones. I pray our desire to understand will not trump our desire to know Him and to become more like Christ.
As we reflect on our loss and heavy grief this year, we can’t stay there, we have to choose what to do with it. Will I choose to walk out my calling in the time I have here on earth? Will I love God first and others second, before myself? Will I be a servant to all? Will my life be lived out with intention and purpose to bring glory to God?
Or will it be about me? That would be the greater tragedy!
I ask this of you today, pray for my family- it’s hard, plain and simple.
But more importantly, I ask you to reflect on what you have been given and ask how you can serve? Does your life, words and deeds reflect your love for God and for others? All our days are numbered, and we do not know when we will take our last breath, so ask yourself – will I be found a faithful, servant of Jesus Christ? That is your choice to love Him and it is the only one that will determine your eternity.
I can say both our Dad and Mom chose to love Him and were found faithful servants, and for that “we grieve not as those who have no hope.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13)
Lord, hold our hearts today and gather our tears. May our transparency bring glory to you and may the love that we were given by our earthly father and mother be what spurs us on to be even greater disciples of Christ. -Happy home-going Dad – We love and miss you and Mom. – We do not understand, but we will choose to trust.
Tecia Farmer Janes
Founder of Choosing Him Ministries