September 17th, 2022, began as a normal day for our family. An overcast and quiet, yet beautiful, day. Watching our son play baseball, lunch with the kids, and a date day planned together. My husband, Cameron, and I had been planning this day for weeks. We told the kids we loved them, and headed out for our much anticipated date.However, just a few hours later, we found ourselves at the hospital. That was the Saturday that ended with Cameron in Heaven, and me a blubbering mess in the Emergency room. This was the night my kids and I went to bed without a husband and a father. Life was suddenly, drastically, different. We would find out a week later that he died from an aortic aneurysm.
Since then, we have had to learn to accept a life that is different than anything we could have imagined. This is not the life Cameron and I were building together. This is not the life my children thought they would live. A life stricken with brokenness, and no dad to hug or encourage them.
Unfortunately, we do not get to choose the day we will meet Jesus. Maybe we will get to tell our loved ones everything we want them to know. Or perhaps we will leave suddenly, and our loved ones will be left with questions, relying on videos, pictures and memories to piece their lives back together.
Psalm 91 assures us, “…He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”
I recently heard Davey Blackburn (widower, author, and podcaster) say “the only way out of despair is through it.” I couldn’t agree more. Walking through tragedy is a journey that requires endurance and faith. An endurance that only the Lord can provide. If you are willing to break away, sit in the stillness, and invite Him in… He will give you the peace that surpasses all understanding. He will sustain you, even through circumstances you never could have imagined. There will be days when words fail you because your heart is just too heavy. That’s ok. God will meet you there too.
Heavenly father, meet us where we are today…even if our hearts are broken. When we feel like we have nothing left in us, Lord give us the peace that only You can offer. Give us the wisdom to seek you in our decisions. Put people in our path to speak truth to us. We invite you in. We surrender our anxiety and fears to you. Give us the endurance to run the unique race you have set apart for us.
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