Fix or Focus

I’ve got this choice when I start to get all anxious inside my circumstances.

I can fix or I can focus.

If I choose fix, I roll up my sleeves and try to force my plans. My disclaimer: this almost never works out. If by some chance I do get all my pieces moved, the stars align, and I force what I think is a fix, it rarely turns out the way I expected anyhow. This just leaves me feeling exhausted and empty.

This desire for perfection in my heart leads me to believe that I make my own happiness, but that isn’t how it works. God placed eternity in our hearts so that we would long for Him (ECC. 3:11). He knows that He, Himself is what gives us joy. I get the wrong idea that I am somehow responsible for muscling God’s plans into being. I’m not the muscle God needs (It’s really quite laughable when you think about this!). God doesn’t need my strength or stamina, what He actually wants is my surrender.

When I get that itch to start fixing, you know the one. Like when someone has misunderstood me and I want them to see what’s really happening. I see untapped potential in
a person or situation that needs motivation. I take on the hurts of my children in a way that only Moms do, wanting to keep them from pain and disappointment. All these circumstances seem to need my help, except they don’t. I need to stop trying to fix things or people because they are not mine to fix. I don’t know if this is distinctly a female trait, but if you are a Mom, I know you feel this. I take on the hurt or angst of my children, and I cannot put it down. I can’t detach from it, but I also can’t control it.

My need to fix needs to move into a determination to focus. I have to stop fixating on the problem and focus on my God who is Himself the answer.

I have to surrender what I think should happen and focus instead on what God is doing. His way is almost never a quick fix. He plays the long game. Where I cannot change people or their hearts; He can. Where I look to quick fix the symptoms of the circumstance, God looks to the heart of what’s happening underneath the circumstance. Those are places I can’t even see which is why I should focus my gaze on God and put all my effort into seeing Him inside the circumstances.

I might get to participate in the way God moves, but I have to first surrender. I have to listen, and I’m bad at listening, especially when I think I know the answer. Anyone else?

The main problem is that I always believe I know the answer.

In surrendering, I also have to wait. I have to wait on the Holy Spirit. He might tell me to move or speak, or he might tell me to wait and watch. Wait is always harder for me….always. This is especially true with my family. I can believe that I know the answer and that I am the fixer and that it all depends on me.

It doesn’t.

It doesn’t depend on you either.

“The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.

It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

Lamentations 3:25-26

Wait. Just wait? That’s so hard! I’m glad for the promise that God knows this and He is good to us when we wait and when we seek Him. If I am waiting and watching, I won’t miss Him. Watching Him show up increases my faith for the next time I’m tempted to fix. Don’t get me wrong, there are many days I find myself in up to my elbows before I even pause and pray about what’s happening, but I’m trying. I’m trying to focus my effort on something greater than myself and spend my energy in prayer instead of planning (read: scheming) and pushing.

Steal this prayer today:

Father, help me still my heart and listen because I trust you more than I trust myself. Help me surrender trying to figure everything out on my own. Help me realize that it’s not mine to fix. It’s not my job. Lead me to take that energy and use it in prayer. I can exchange my anxiety for your peace every time I repeat this. Thank you for this gift. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Guest Contributor: Lauren Mitchell