I have always thought that I love people well. And maybe by the world’s standards, I do. I love my husband. I love my children. I love my family and friends. In short, I love the people in my life that are easy to love. For the most part, I love them fully without hindrance and usually without trying. But recently, I found myself in situations with people who are not quite so easy to love. Difficult people. People who have hurt me or those I love. People I have loved, but I am struggling to feel it. People I know I should love, because they are fully loved by my God, my King, Jesus.
This week I have been reading 1 Corinthians 13. The” love” chapter. The standard by which we, as Christians, measure love. It was not lost on me this morning as I woke up with it flowing through my heart that it is Valentine’s Day. I read through the verses that I can so easily quote. I read them again and again.
As I read, I found myself assigning a grade to each attribute based on my ability to love in the challenging situations I am facing. Love is patient: 61/100 D-. Love is Kind: 85/100 a solid B, Love is not irritable or resentful: >50/100, F. Suffice it to say that in my current situations, I didn’t receive a passing grade…not even close. In fact, there is a lot of work to be done. If I am honest, I knew this report card was coming. Like a student who didn’t put in the work before the test, I knew I hadn’t put in the effort to love the way Jesus loves. That reality broke me. I don’t love the way Jesus does (not that any of us do), but I want to. The disappointment I was confident Jesus shared with me as well as shame ripped at my heart.
In my self-condemnation I continued to read the chapter. The part we don’t read at weddings or quote in Sunday School. “For I see dimly but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know fully even as I have been fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12. I was blown away.
I am FULLY known. Those words resonated through my spirit like a healing balm. I heard the Holy Spirit reiterate them to my broken spirit. “Child, you are fully known and completely, fully loved.” Over and over, He bathed my heart in his loving kindness. Knowing I had a failing test score, knowing I am struggling, knowing I don’t have the ability to love as completely as He does…He loves me. In every shortcoming, I am fully known, and I am loved. And friend, so are you.
God is not afraid of our struggles or our big emotions. He is a faithful Father, who loves us way too much to leave us where we are. I sat for some time with my heart surrendered and captivated by the love of my King. As I did, He worked in my heart. He took my shame and replaced it with forgiveness. The self-condemnation washed away and, in its place, came a deep desire to mirror the lover of my soul. To love as I have been loved. I was reminded of Psalm 23. “He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” In the time I sat with Him, He restored my soul.
Friend, take the time today to let the reality of being fully known and loved cleanse your heart, restore your weary soul, soften your heart and mold you to be a little more like Him.
Jenni Peters
