I woke up to the words, “you are disposable.” It was a whisper in my ear as I slept. Those words felt so real, so hurtful, and so internal. I started running through the events of the last two months. I thought I was better, but then I wasn’t. I laid there at 4 a.m. with those words spinning in my head. Then the reminders of what had happened started swirling around while sound bites echoed in my heart. The tears began to flow out of my eyes…sobs from the hurt in my heart. Those words were abrupt, felt like truth, and made me go to a dark place in my mind of feeling like trash.
As I laid there and cried, I then heard the Holy Spirit say, “take those thoughts captive…NOW…let me have those thoughts. Give it back to me!” I sat up, and as my husband slept beside me, I said out loud, “I am NOT disposable!” I got up and walked to the bathroom so I wouldn’t wake up my husband. I closed the door, wiped my face, and began to claim, out loud, who the Word of God says I am. The truth of years in His word came pouring out of me as I wept. “God, you say that…
I am loved (1 John 4:19)
I am precious (Isaiah 43:4)
I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14)
I am thought of more than all the grains of sand (Psalms 139)
I am redeemed (Colossians 1:14)
I am chosen (Jeremiah 1:5)
I am still called (John 21)
I am a child of God (John 1:12)
I am irreplaceable (1 Thessalonians 1:4)
I am important enough to die for (Romans 5:8)
I am NOT disposable.
Satan was defeated and so were his lies.
As the truth of God’s Word came pouring out of me, and I was back in a place of peace, I was reminded from the Holy Spirit that EVERYTHING that has happened over the last few months is for the good of those who Love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). I am so thankful that I have been pursuing God’s Word and hiding it in my heart for such a time as this.
What lies are you walking through right now? Are you spending time in the Word and prayer so you can hear God’s voice of truth to guide your heart? Are you allowing the world or the Word to shape opinions of yourself?
Take some time to reflect on these scriptures but to also meditate on the truth of who you are in Christ. You are everything to Him.
Guest Contributor: Rebecca Lander
